The Top 14 Super Powers Most Coveted by Dogs

Invisibath - The power to disappear at the first sound of bath water.
ViseHump - The leg hump grip of steel.
AquaField — Immunity to bucket of cold water when copulating in driveway.
Keetvision- The ability to shoot laser beams from your eyes to blast that damn Frisbee out of the sky.
SuperBladder — Loaded with Toxi-Urine — One lift of the leg and this town is mine!
SquirrelFreeze.
AnalTelepathy/ButtSniffery - Two powers which when combined allow one to smell another dog’s butt without actually having to get up and move around.
John-O-Matic - Turns any toilet bowl into a punch bowl by sheer force of will.
ChuckSpeed - Ability to catch that friggin’ Wagon Train.
Anti-Psych-Out - Immunity to all that “fake throw” nonsense.
VacuCalm - Utter self-control whenever the vacuum cleaner is turned on.
GucciTract - An invincible digestive system that sustains itself entirely on designer shoes.
King Fido’s Touch - Everything you touch turns into crap.