So I fixed it.

I went into my mom’s purse while she was asleep and ate a tube of bright red lipstick and chewed up 3 $1 bills.

I knock over the neighbors kids and hump them. I should be registered sex offender.

I ate 5 hot dogs, 3 bratwurst and broke a lamp trying to get away.

But it was worth it.

Hmm… I wonder which one is guilty?

I’ve ruined several pairs of underwear and I eat more TURDS than I do my own food.